Hail To The Chef – Jamie Oliver’s Social Policy

By really short via Wikimedia Commons

Anti-Turkey Twizzler celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has come in for criticism this week after he claimed poor families should spend more on healthy meals and less on big-screen televisions.

His comments, published in the Radio Times, led to a massive backlash against the healthy eating campaigner, with critics claiming he was out-of-touch with the reality of poverty stricken families.

The article quotes Oliver as saying "You might remember that scene in Ministry Of Food, with the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers, and behind them is a massive TV. It just didn’t weigh up."

“I meet people who say, 'You don’t understand what it’s like.’ I just want to hug them and teleport them to the Sicilian street cleaner who has 25 mussels, 10 cherry tomatoes, and a packet of spaghetti for 60 pence, and knocks out the most amazing pasta. You go to Italy or Spain and they eat well on not much money. We’ve missed out on that in Britain, somehow.”

His detractors might have a point about Oliver being out of touch with the problems facing the modern family, especially when you consider how much he charges for what is essentially beans on toast in his restaurant, but does he have an underlying point?

Amazingly, people in lower paying jobs, single parents and the unemployed are able to afford an iPhone, the latest gaming console and a large flat screen TV, but when it comes to meal time are tucking in to unhealthy processed food and ready-meals.

While this is a generalised statement and is by no means stated as an absolute fact there is undoubtedly some truth in this.

The most obvious thing to criticise here is the UKs consumer culture where we are judged, unfairly, on the brand names we wear, the entertainment system we use and what kind of mobile phone is permanently in our hands.

Is it fair children are destined to a life of highly salted, sugared and processed foods (and the health problems these caused) just so they can have the latest gadget?

This is an entirely modern problem, which makes analysis difficult as there is no historical reference point.

If we were to travel back 50-years poor families would spend most of their much lower income on food, which they would prepare and cook themselves, but back then there were no “must have” accessories or microwave meals.

However, it might even be unfair to blame consumer culture for this behaviour.

Ask anyone who enjoys cooking fresh meals and they will tell you making anything from scratch is cheaper than buying the ready-made alternative.

A 400g Tesco Everyday Value lasagne for example costs £0.95p and, to ensure shelf life, is packed with salts, sugars and saturated fat.  Anyone who knows there way around a kitchen would be able to make a far better tasting and much healthier version for at least the same price and probably less.

This dependency on microwave meals is not replicated on the continent and anyone who has travelled to France or Spain will tell you how different the eating culture is and how much more adventurous European children are in trying different foods.

So is the problem simply about people not knowing how to cook, or could it be plain laziness?

Yes, it is certainly easier to blast a plastic packet in the microwave for three minutes than it is to create a homemade bolognaise sauce, but a basic spag bol can easily be made in under half an hour, which is not exactly going to destroy your evening.

Something like chips is a prime example. A bag of frozen chips cost about £1, which is about the same as a bag of unpeeled potatoes.

However, with just five minutes effort, and the same cooking time, your bag of potatoes can make a much larger number of healthier wedges than you can get out of any freezer aisle bag.

In fact there is a certain irony when people are being so careless with the processed foods they are consuming at a time when the public are spending more and more on gym memberships, fitness DVDs and all the paraphernalia associated with them.

Could the underlying point here be that, unlike our European neighbours, the Brits simply do not know how to cook?

The main problem seems to be the two misconceptions where people think buying and eating fresh is more expensive and time consuming.

Both of these notions are ridiculously inaccurate.

In an almost laughable comparison in the aftermath of Oliver’s comments, people criticised him by saying it was impossible to recreate his recipes for less than a ready-meal.

Oliver’s books, like those of his TV cooking rivals, are not full of everyday recipes, but are to be made on a special occasion or, even more importantly, inspire you to cook.

The Naked Chef in fact made his reputation by showing people you did not need the gastronomic flair of a Michelin starred chef to make lovely food at home.

The question remains however, about how do we convince people to leave the ready-meals on the shelf and head to the fresh food aisles?

Oliver, as well as his peers such as Delia Smith, Rick Stein and the Hairy Bikers to name just a few, have for years demonstrated just how easy it is to cook basic meals without breaking the bank, but apparently there are still far too many who have not got the message, probably because they decided to watch the latest mind-numbing exploits from a reality TV show while munching on an extra value meal.

Unfortunately little can be done to physically change people’s attitudes, but it does make you wonder why people instantly went on the defensive about Oliver’s comments.

Eating fresh is, at worst, not much more pricey than ready-made, but if poor families did forsake the gizmos, gadgets and brands they could minimise their debt problems  and provide a better life for themselves with a minimal amount of effort.

In the same way their parents did, people should strive and save to be able to afford nice things, not buy them first and figure out how to pay for them later.

We could certainly learn a lot from our parents and grandparents generations about how we have let our pursuit of material goods get in the way of basic common sense.

The point raised by Oliver here is poor people are spending more on buying wide screen televisions, PlayStations and smartphones, while at the same time buying more expensive and unhealthier ready-made foods.

This concept is actually insane, when, with what would not be a massive cultural shift, we could improve the health of the nation, relieve the plague of debt on poor families and improve their overall living standards.

Overall Oliver’s comments may have been misplaced or even misinterpreted, but, as with all things like this, there is an underlying truth about how we choose to fund specific parts of our lifestyle and ignore what are the more important things, such as ensuring our children get nutritious food.

Problems in Peru – UK Drug Traffickers Overseas

The morning after watching the (not so) ably hosted “Cocaine Capital of the World” about the booming drugs trade in Peru, many of us woke to the news of two British teenagers having been arrested at Lima airport for attempting to smuggle drugs back to Europe.

It is hardly surprising this caused a lot of commotion in some areas with people calling for the UK government to help them avoid a lengthy stay without trial in what are regarded as some of the worst and most violent prisons in the world. 

Sadly this is not an isolated case. Recently Lindsey Sandiford, a British grandmother, was sentenced to death in Indonesia for smuggling an alleged £1.6million of cocaine into the country.

Sandiford’s case, if anything, caused more of a stir and led to various groups being formed to take donations to fund her legal defence.

Nobody would wish the conditions these women, and the hundreds of other UK citizens held across the world on similar charges, find themselves in on their worst enemy.

Peruvian and Indonesian jails are notorious for violence and bad treatment, Sandiford is likely to spend years, if not decades on death row, and Melissa Reid and Michaella McCollum will be forced to wait around three-years before they appear in front of a judge.

This undeniably bad treatment leads to many public and political campaigns to free these people and repatriate them back home, however, this view is bizarrely hypocritical.

For a long time now all western governments have actively encouraged countries like Columbia, Mexico and more recently Peru to act against the drug cartels operating in their countries and crackdown on smuggling.

This is the way things should be done. Tightening border checks in the UK to stop drugs getting into the country is certainly important, but inconsequential if the supply of drugs is increasing.

Hisotry shows the trade is so lucrative the smugglers simply find more and more ingenious ways of shipping their product, for example the submarines which have been found in recent years.

Naturally these countries, who cannot afford high-tech air and shipping port controls, sniffer dogs, specialised police or undercover intelligence, react to this by increasing the checks they carry out and imposing very tough sentences on those caught.

Of cause there are flaws in this plan. Without an efficient and incorruptible legal system you end up with situations where people spend years waiting for a trial, but then again they were caught smuggling drugs.

If Sandiford, Reid or McCollum was caught dealing drugs in this country nobody would have any sympathy for them.

All three of the women mentioned and no doubt many, if not all, of the people languishing in foreign prisons claim to have been physically forced or coerced into doing something they did not want to do.

This may be true in some cases, although it would be rather naive to think it was as common as claimed.

However, claiming ignorance or coercion has never been an effective legal defence.

In an admittedly bad comparison, war criminals often claim innocence because they were just following orders and there are numerous examples of wives and girlfriends who covered up for their partners illegal behaviour.

The reason for these being such ineffective pleas is because the law is an absolute state. If you were aware you were committing a crime you are guilty, regardless of the motive.

The problem when people react like this is it appears to make a distinction between foreign drug traffickers and British drug traffickers. As if by somehow holding a UK passport is a get out of jail free card for when things go wrong.

Essentially what has happened is the UK has asked for something and then people are criticising the result.

Everyone agrees more needs to be done to stop cocaine smuggling out of South America, but then are outraged when its UK citizens get arrested.

We cannot have both in this situation. Either the South American governments crackdown on trafficking and we accept some Brits will spend time in unpleasant prisons, or you have to live with ever increasing quantities of drugs ending up on the streets.

As residents of a developed nation it is right our government affords us help when we are wrongfully persecuted overseas, but this privilege should not be extended to those who have genuinely committed crimes.

Preview of Premier League 2013/14

With the new Premiership season about to start it is time for the traditional preview to the season. Who will win, who will lose and who will cause the surprises as the top teams from England (plus a couple from Wales) go head-to-head in the 2013/14 season.

In terms of drama I expect there to be less at the bottom end of the table, with a small number of prime candidates for the drop, and a closer finish at the top than last season.

Some interest might be generated in the race for Europa League places and top-half finishes with the likes of West Brom, Swansea and even a couple of lower-half teams from last season making a push with some interesting signings.

However, thanks to the managerial merry-go-round in the top-three, the early part of the season is likely to be dominated by a focus on how those teams are performing under new control.

Arsenal

The good news for Arsenal fans is they have managed to get through the summer without selling their top players, although this might have a lot to do with their best players having already left.

However, in traditional style Arsene Wenger has yet again been frustratingly quiet in the transfer window as he aims to end the North London team’s trophy drought. Louis Suarez has been linked with the Gunners, but has yet to lead to anything concrete.

There will of cause be Champions League football at the Emirates this season, which technically should entice top-tier players, and Arsenal should be in a position to claim a top-four spot again, but unfortunately without some loosening of the purse strings it might yet be another silverwareless-season putting even more pressure on Monsieur Wenger.

Who to Watch: Anyone who Wenger actually buys

Prediction: Top-four in the league, but will have to make a push for a domestic trophy

Aston Villa

Last season’s cannot by any standards be classified as a success for the Midlands outfit, but then again, following their disastrous run pre-Christmas, staying in the top-flight must be seen as a positive.

Darren Bent still remains as the giant anchovy on a claret and blue pizza, but a deal seeing him leave Villa Park for Fulham or Crystal Palace does look likely before the start of the new campaign.

Paul Lambert has brought in some fresh faces and let other go as he continues his rebuilding efforts and it is unlikely Villa will struggle in the way they did last term. However, doubts remain as to how far up the table they can pull themselves, meaning fans will have at least one eye on the relegation battle.

Who to Watch: Christian Benteke impressed last season and looks set to stay at Villa Park.

Prediction: Better than last year, but still bottom half

Cardiff City

You wait years for one Welsh team in the English top-flight and then two turn up at once. After many ‘almost there’ years the blue [red] birds have finally arrived.

The most interesting bit of business they have conducted so far has been the capture of Steven Caulker off Tottenham, which took many Spurs fans by surprise.

Unfortunately it is hard to see Cardiff getting very far this season and despite the squad improvements the team look set for a relegation struggle this season. However, out of the three newly-promoted teams they probably stand the best chance of survival.

Then again many wrote-off their fellow-countrymen and they went on to win the League Cup last season so anything can happen.

Who to Watch: Steven Caulker. Very talented young player who will get chances to impress this season.

Prediction: May be fighting a losing relegation battle

Chelsea

The circus continues as the Abramovic road-show continues on its usual path. ‘The Special One’ has returned and looks to have set his stall-out for an outright confrontation with Manchester United over the future of Wayne Rooney.

Fernando Torres is still technically a Blues player, but his move away from Stamford Bridge is looking ever more likely.

With the managerial changes in Manchester it would take a brave man (or woman) to bet against the Premiership trophy returning to West London this season, but the more important issue is how will the team fair in the Champions League.

After back-to-back continental trophies (even if last years was the minor one) have set a precedent for the Shed End faithful and the Russian upstairs has always made it clear how important success in Europe is.

Unfortunately for the media the managerial merry-go-round is unlikely to continue with Jose being given at least one whole season to show what he can do, but if his tenure is to continue he needs silverware this season.

Who to Watch: Jose Mourinho. Great manager and always good for some entertainment

Prediction: Champions and a serious challenge for Champions League

Crystal Palace

Ian Holloway is back in the Premiership so hold on tight!

Very few, even of the die-hard Palace fans, would have predicted their team would be a Premiership side at the start of last season, but a thrilling play-off win has seen the Eagles return.

There have been a few positive moves in the transfer window, but this is going to be a very tough season for a team unprepared for the top-flight.

Unfortunately I think it will be a brave, but ultimate unsuccessful battle against relegation this season for the South London team.

Who to Watch: Ian Holloway is always good for a laugh, but if you insist on watching players Darren Bent if he makes the switch, if not Marouane Chamakh.

Prediction: Relegated

Everton

With David Moyes making the short journey from Merseyside to Salford and Roberto Martinez making an equally small hop from Wigan there will be many eyes on the Toffee’s this season and not for the right reasons.

Martinez will have to prove his worth after several relegation scraps with his old team and many still doubt he is cut-out for top level management.

He has however been able to hold onto Baines and Fellaini (so far) and both players will be vital if he is able to build on Moyes’ foundations. Trouble arrives if he loses one or both.

Where they will finish is a tough question. It is very unlikely they will face a Wiganesque battle against relegation, but it is equally unlikely they will be pushing for a top-four/ six finish like they did last season. An unremarkable top-half finish looks the most likely option.

Who to Watch: Roberto Martinez. Can he prove he’s a good manager?

Prediction: Potential top-eight, but mid-table probably more likely

Fulham

Fulham decided to go on their summer break early last season, which saw them finish the season in an artificially low position.

Over the summer a new owner has come in, but the cash is yet to be splashed, although Darren Bent may be on the way in.

Fulham, like several slightly more established Premiership teams, have been treading water the last few seasons, staying in the top flight without really doing much and with other teams making a greater impact in the transfer market it looks likely to be another nothing season at Craven Cottage.

The underlying quality of the team, combined with Martin Jol’s influence and new owners will probably see Fulham safe with time to spare, but a cup-run might be needed to convince the Cottage regulars there is still some ambition in the side.

Who to Watch:  Shahid Khan. Will the new owner splash the cash?

Prediction: Bottom half, but never in any worry of relegation

Hull City

Hull manager Steve Bruce is a familiar face in the Premiership, but it is unlikely he or Hull City will be around for long.

A large slice of fortune at the end of last season (largely thanks to some ineptitude by Watford) saw Hull finish second in the Championship, when a play-off place looked the more likely route.

There have been a couple of interesting moves in the transfer window, most notably Scott Parker being eyed up, but you cannot help but feel it will all be in vain as Hull and the other newly promoted teams look set to battle it out for the bottom three spaces in the table.

Who to Watch: Steve Bruce as he tries to cut it as a manager in the Premiership…again

Prediction: They’re doomed

Liverpool

Liverpool have become something of an enigma over the last few seasons, still mixing it with the big-boys in head-to-head league and cup games, but then faltering against smaller teams and ultimately ending the season several places lower than they would expect.

A large part of this has to go down to the fact new signings turn up at Anfield with all the promise in the world and then fail to do anything.

This summer Aspas and Toure have come in, and with Coutinho and Sturridge already in place, the Kop should have things to cheer this season. However, the Suarez-circus continues and his presence, or lack thereof, will have a major effect on the Liverbirds season.

If everything goes right on Merseyside a top-four place is not out of the question, however, this has been true for the last few years so top-six might be more likely.

On the plus side the reds should be above the blue side of Stanley Park at the end of the season.

Who to Watch: Suarez if he stays and Suarez if he leaves

Prediction: If new signings perform then top-six. Domestic cups only chance of silverware

Manchester City

As much as there was controversy when Mancini was sacked last season, Manuel Pellegrini has been suspiciously quiet since taking the job at the Etihad.

As has become traditional in the Blue side of Manchester over the last few seasons, some big names have left (Tevez), some might be leaving (Dzeko), other have arrived (Navas and Negredo) and others might still arrive (Pepe), but there is still no real squad mentality.

The team is undoubtedly talented and will be very competitive, but doubts remain as to whether or not they can maintain a winning mentality for the whole season.

If the new boss can get them playing together it will be something special to watch, but history shows teams created in this way struggle to maintain form.

Come the end of the year City will probably be second or third, depending more on how Moyes motivates the red side of Manchester than their own performances.

Who to Watch: Navas and Negredo have been the headline signings and need to perform

Prediction: Second or third, but need a good Champions League run

Manchester United

By far the biggest news last season was the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson after 20-plus successful years in Salford. David Moyes was quickly instated and, although he might not have been everyone’s first choice, he was clearly Sir Alex’s.

Taking over at United after Ferguson is probably the most unenviable task in football as there is pressure to succeed straight away, but the squad belongs to the previous manager. Many speculated Baines and Fellaini would follow their Everton boss, but so far neither has. Cesc Fabregas has been rumoured to make a sensational return to the Premiership, but is apparently not for sale, and Cristiano Ronaldo might also be wearing the red number 7 shirt, but is still at Real Madrid.

You could argue the team was good enough to finish comfortably top last season, but in modern football if you are not moving forward you are going backwards.

If Moyes can get the team to play for him they will still be a force to be reckoned with, particularly if a marquee signing can be made, but it could easily got the other way.

Who to Watch: David Moyes. Can he fill Ferguson’s boots?

Prediction: Second or third with best chance of a trophy in FA Cup and Champions League

Newcastle United

Le Toon Army had a disappointing 2012/13 season after a heroic campaign the year before. However, the ship was steadied in January and there should be enough quality for a more stable challenge this year.

Unfortunately the news from the North East this summer had more to do with the unexpected return of Joe Kinnear and how the former manager’s relationship with the current boss pans out over the season will be more interesting than what’s happening on the pitch.

It is still unclear how good Alan Pardew’s squad is so there could still be a nice surprise for the Magpies, but it is far more likely this season will see the team from St James’ (or is it the Sports Direct Arena still?) finish mid-table.

Who to Watch: Papiss Cisse can score spectacular goals, but the Kinnear/ Pardew saga could also be interesting

Prediction: Better season finishing comfortably mid-table

Norwich City

If Fulham finished last season artificially low because they had given up with a month to go then Norwich finished artificially high thanks to relegation avoiding wins in the last two games.

However, having been tipped for relegation after the departure of Paul Lambert the Canaries had a good season. More surprising however has been the weight Carrow Road has be throwing about in the transfer market.

Hooper, Redmond, van Wolfswinkel, Fer and Olsson have come in offering a level of quality lacking in previous seasons. If these players come in and perform the Yellows might be the surprise package of the season.

Unfortunately, despite the obvious good endeavours, there is still a question remaining over the depth of the squad.

A mid-table finish seems most likely, but what is more important is to avoid the quasi-relegation scrap they ended up in at the end of last season.

Who to Watch: Is van Wolfswinkel’s reputation justified and can Hooper make a claim on an England shirt?  

Prediction: Mid-table and a domestic cup effort-

Southampton

Last season was an odd one for the Saints. The joy of being back in the top-flight, the shock departure of Nigel Adkins and the surprise arrival of Mauricio Pochettino before successfully navigating their way to a second term.

But then comes the difficult second album. The Saints form last season was sporadic and although a couple of quality signings have come in there is a lack of overall quality and squad depth.

There is always pressure for the new teams to push on and cement their place in the top-flight and this will certainly be a goal for the south coast side and a Swanseaesque season will be their goal, it is just a question of whether or not they have the side to achieve it.

Many teams are making claims to higher finishing spots this season and Southampton might be better served by consolidating their place and looking to build a squad over this term.

Who to Watch: Wanyama and Lovren are the obvious choices, but the team as a whole need to show why they deserve to stay in the top-tier

Prediction: Bottom half

Stoke City

Stoke without Pullis is like a sober Paul Gascoigne, a sight not seen for a long time, and you can guarantee the club shop replica training kit sales have plummeted.

Mark Hughes’ arrival has not been universally popular and you get better odds on the new boss being sacked than on Stoke achieving anything of note this season.

The former gaffers departure was not unexpected as the Potters faltered over the line and with the new boss lacking activity during the summer it is hard to see Stoke being anywhere other than in the relegation scrap again this season.

Unfortunately Hughes’ record is not very good and with a lack of fresh faces mean it will be hard to evolve the Stoke way of playing, which lacked effectiveness last season.

The boys at the Britannia might need to ready themselves for a long, relegation fraught season and will need to focus on staying ahead of Cardiff.

Who to Watch: Mark Hughes. How long will he last in this job?

Prediction: Narrowly avoiding relegation, or not

Sunderland

Paulo di Canio gets his first attempt at a full season in the North East this season and we all wait with bated breath to see what lunacy comes out of his mouth in the pre and post-match press conferences.

Despite being an unexpected recruit after Martin O’Neil was shoved out the back door of the Stadium of Light, di Canio did achieve what was needed…Premiership safety and an historic win over Newcastle.

However, doubts remain as to how far he can take them in the long term. Some good signings have come in, but Mignolet, who many credit with being the main reason the Black Cats stayed up, has gone to Liverpool leaving a big gap between the posts.

Like di Canio’s temperament, Sunderland’s form this season cannot be guessed, but what is most important this season at the Stadium of Light is stability, a word which Paulo might not know the meaning of.

Who to Watch: Paulo di Canio. You can’t take your eyes off him

Prediction: Bottom half, but avoiding relegation

Swansea City

Last season’s surprise package trailed off following their League Cup victory, but they still overachieved with Michael Laudrup in charge. Most importantly star-signing Michu and the manager have stayed in place despite rumours both would be tempted with roles at large clubs this season.

Wilfred Bony has been added to the Swans starting line, along with a few other players and there is potential for the Welsh side to keep on its upward path.

European football also comes to the Liberty Stadium this year and could be a distraction in terms of the clubs league form. Away games abroad on Thursday night and Premier League fixtures on Saturday, as has been seen in the past, is a very demanding schedule.

However, the most important thing this year will be to show their dominance over fellow countrymen Cardiff.

If you were to offer the Swans the same as last year they would certainly take it and they might become the cup-specialists over the next few years as financial constraints stop them from making an assault on the top-six.

Who to Watch: Can Bony have an impact and Michu maintain form?

Prediction: Top-half if they can stop the Europa League distracting them

Tottenham Hotspur

The Gareth Bale road-show trundles on and summing up Tottenham’s fortunes for this upcoming campaign is quite simple. If they keep Bale they will make a top-four push, without him they will be lucky to get into the Europa League spots.

As much as the Lilywhites might not want to admit it they were a one-man-show last season and even the arrival of Paulinho and Soldado might struggle to fill the left footed gap left by the Welshman.

Of cause if either player hits the ground running and can replace Bales goal scoring and creativity then they might still be ok, but unfortunately it is not always that simple.

Spurs are another team who also have the disadvantage of Thursday night European fixtures and although their squad has more depth than others they are at a disadvantage compared to the Tuesday and Wednesday night Champions League sides.

Who to Watch: Gareth Bale and the AVB vs ‘The Special One’ reunion

Prediction: Top-six

West Bromwich Albion

Successful and restrained season by the Baggies last season. Started well and faded a little at the end, but most importantly did it without attracting any attention to themselves.

A team who became famous for yo-yoing between the top two divisions for a few seasons is now well established and need to start making a stronger impact

It would be easy to say WBA would struggle without the goal scoring prowess of Lukaku, but with the journeyman Nicolas Anelka joining their ranks they will not struggle to find the net on a regular basis.   

Although they will struggle to brake the top-six this season The Hawthorns outfit will need to provide its fans with more to cheer about than just another season where they stayed in the top-flight.

A strong effort for the league or FA cup needs to be made to make WBA more than just a standard mid-table team.

Who to Watch: Nicolas Anelka in yet another Premier League shirt

Prediction: Top-eight and a cup challenge

West Ham United

By far the most impressive of the newly promoted teams last year and were able to achieve safety without being at any risk of the drop.

A long-haired lanky Geordie has made a permanent move to the club from the red side of the Mersey and will be out to get noticed in a World Cup season. However, Carroll’s acquisition seems to have dried up the Hammers coffers so this second-season back in the top-flight might not be as easy sailing as last year.

However, Sam Allardyce is a canny and tactically astute manager and it is unlikely they will be dragged into any trouble at the basement end of the division.

Who to Watch: Andy Carroll. With a World Cup next year he needs to impress to guarantee a seat on the plane

Prediction: Mid-table with a possible cup run

Random Predictions:

Champions: Chelsea

FA Cup: Manchester City

League Cup: West Bromwich Albion

Relegated: Crystal Palace, Hull City and Cardiff City

First Manager Sacked: Mark Hughes

Top Goal Scorer: Robin van Persie

Predicted Table 2013/14

Chelsea

Man United

Man City

Arsenal

Liverpool

Tottenham

WBA

Swansea City

Everton

Norwich

Newcastle

West Ham United

Sunderland

Aston Villa

Fulham

Southampton

Stoke City

Cardiff City

Hull City

Crystal Palace

Go Home Vans – Crackpot Immigration Policy

Even by the omnishambolic standards of this coalition government the so called “Go Home” vans targeting illegal aliens have got to be one of the most bizarre, poorly executed and ridiculous policies ever trotted out in the name of immigration policy.

What is more, contrary to Tory party statements, there is no way this “idea” will ever work (idea is in inverted commas because at best this should be referred to as a third-rate notion).

It is flawed on almost every level and, unforgivably in modern communications, is a major political error which is likely to cost the Conservatives votes at the next election.

You only have to look at the wording and method used to see how inflammatory these mobile billboards are.

“In the UK illegally? GO HOME OR FACE ARREST”

In terms of a BNP election poster, EDL banner or a piece of National Front graffiti sprayed on a black person’s front door during the 70s it’s a great slogan, but it is hardly nuanced or aim at encouraging thoughtful debate.

The answer to the wording of these posters probably lies in the fact illegal immigrants do not have a good grasp of the English language, but then again it also asks people to text in for help getting home.

Seriously, how many illegal immigrants do they think have mobile phones?

These people work low paid jobs and probably have no family in this country so cannot afford and have no need of a mobile phone, not to mention illegal immigrants go out of their way to avoid a paper-trail  which can lead to their arrest.

This behaviour includes working for cash, removing the need for a bank account, and not having a phone contract.

However, a more important question is even if an illegal immigrant had a mobile phone, why would they hand themselves in?

Do we honestly think they are going to have a sudden attack of conscience and volunteer to go back to a country they tried so hard to leave in the first place?

These people risk life and limb, not to mention spend a small fortune, to get here.

They also made the effort to leave their country of origin, leaving behind everything they knew, family and friends to come here for a reason, be it civil war, famine, chronic unemployment or the promise of a better life.

Take what is a very common case. A poor young man from an West African country who, unable to get a job in his home country, comes to the UK with the promise of, albeit low-paid, employment, with the plan to send money back to his family still in Africa.

This man is not going to volunteer himself to be sent back home and no poster, no matter how inflammatory the slogan, is going to change his mind. Even less likely is someone who escaped war or religious persecution to come to the UK.

Under these circumstances it would almost be better to be arrested as with the appeals process you would stand a far greater chance of staying in the UK legally.

To show how idiotic this idea is consider a similar campaign against other crimes. “Are you a rapist? Hand yourself in to receive a lighter prison sentence”, “Mugged a Granny for her pension book? Give back her money and we’ll forget it ever happened” or even “Are you driving drunk? Admit it now or we’ll catch you the next time”.

Even the most effective piece of propaganda on this poster, the claim of 106 arrests in the area last week, actually turns out to be horrifically inaccurate.

When you think areas of London you would be forgiven for thinking the statistic refers to your local borough, but no, the statistic is actually for the whole of London and includes people stopped at immigration points at airports.

If advertising agency used figures in this way they would be dragged up before the standards authority before you could say Mark Twain - Lies, damn lies and statistics.

Another major issue is where these vans have been deployed.

I am unable to speak with much authority on the demographics of some of the areas, but deploying these in Hounslow is a massive middle finger to large proportions of the local population.

Yes, Hounslow and the surrounding area has for a long time had an significant immigrant population, largely due to it close vicinity to the airport, which is probably why it was chosen.

However, the logic is flawed.

Most of the immigrant population in the area are actually second, third or even fourth generation, which means they hold UK passports, not to mention the fact their parents, or grandparents entered the country through legal channels.

Its location near Heathrow also makes it an unlikely place for illegal immigrants to stay. These people don’t arrive business class on British Airways, they hide in shipping containers or cling onto the underside of lorries.

You could claim there is work surrounding the airport, but again this argument does not hold water.

Yes, a large proportion of the employment in the area stems from Heathrow, but in the last decade the security requirements for working anywhere in the airport have become incredibly strict, making it a very unsuitable place for illegal immigrants to find work.

The most guiling part of this is there is somebody who got paid, probably quite well, to come up with this campaign.

We can all agree illegal immigration is a problem, but in terms of the financial burden they put on the taxpayer it is negligible outside of the border control agency wage bill.

Illegal immigrants cannot claim benefit of any kind for the very reason they are here illegally.

The fact of the matter is these posters are offensive and are likely to increase racial tensions in these areas, deputising every skinhead with a cross of St George tattoo to start harassing anyone with darker skin.

In Hounslow in particular you will end up with a situation where UK passport holders who happen to have Indian or Pakistani heritage, feel alienated from mainstream society, have the impression the UK government do not want them there and translate the posters as ‘Pakis go Home’.

Amazingly the Home Office and the UK Boarder Agency (UKBA) have tried to make it worse by posting immigration offices outside train stations to check people status, which basically means stopping and searching anyone with dark skin, ignoring the fact there are plenty of non-EU countries with white populations who could just as easily be illegal.

The Home Office even went further by Tweeting pictures “immigration offenders arrested in Home Office operations.”

Even ignoring the fact this is a pair of jackboots and a swastika away from being strikingly like the Nazi’s rounding up Jews, they managed to commit contempt of court before the SUSPECTS (yes I studied media law and know how this is supposed to be reported) even got to the police station.

Everyone agrees illegal immigration is a problem, but this is not an issue which can be fixed with a police crackdown on the immigrants themselves.

The UKBA and the Home Office needs to work on stopping the human trafficking routes, better checks at REAL boarder entries (by which I mean sea ports and international train stations, not Kensal Green underground station) and focus their attentions on the criminal gangs who employ illegal immigrants once they are in the country.

These goals are not achievable with racist posters, racial profiling and poorly thought out random checks.

The cause of this has been the Tory party wanting to appease its hard-right backbenchers.

Unfortunately, the result of this is an Orwellian crusade against anyone who is not white.